Locking Eyes With The Lord

What is that incomparable beauty of Sri Sathya Sai Darshanam, when one is blessed to immerse in the Beauty Beyond Compare Ultimate Divine with absolute focus, only to get the bonus blessing of the ultimate beauty of ‘Locking Eyes With The Lord’? Sri ‘Kadu’ Balasubramanyam Parasuraman, an alumnus at SSSIHL, narrates his perception and experience on ‘Locking Eyes’ With The Supreme Lord, narrating a beautiful Brindavan darshan session…as extracted from his recently published book, ‘My Loving Swami’. 

We all know that communication can be verbal and non-verbal. There are behavioural scientists who analyse the non-verbal communication of individuals for their living. For Sai devotees worldwide, we use this term often while describing how Swami saw us during Darshan. We typically would say, “I locked my eyes with Swami when He came for Darshan.” This expression has a very deep meaning for each one of us. I have used this expression several times too. Well, what does this expression really mean for me?

Our mind travels at a speed that is unimaginable to calculate. At one second, we would be at our home, and the next second we would be floating in our dream world while parallelly browsing something on Google. Is it humanly possible to calculate the speed at which our mind travelled in this one second? Probably not… It would be safe to conclude that most of us would be thinking of a thing and at the same time doing something totally irrelevant.

God gave us this powerful mind as a gift whereby we could use it for doing unimaginable (irony) things at the same point in time. But, this acts as a double-edged sword too, wherein we never live in the present moment. We are lost either thinking about our past or busy planning for our future which we would like to control. Though we would like to think otherwise, I bet it doesn’t work that way most of the time. But there are fleeting moments in one’s life when they truly live in the present moment wherein everything in their inner sphere is aligned.

Though I am not astute in this area of study, giving it my best shot, I would think these moments can be classified broadly under two scenarios. One would be when we are in a crisis (in the true sense of the word), and the other when we are in bliss.

During the last three decades, I had been blessed with the opportunity to have Swami’s Darshan many times. To be true to myself, I don’t think I made good of the opportunity to be in bliss during every Darshan due to the vagaries of the mind. However, there have been several moments when I was truly in bliss. I still recall the first time when I got to lock eyes with Bhagawan.

This happened in Brindavan during my first year of college in 1994. One fine morning, we had all assembled for Swami’s Darshan. My mind was very calm, not thinking about anything at all. As I sat in Sai Ramesh Hall waiting for Swami to come out, no thought crossed my mind. I wasn’t thinking about the happenings in my life or looking at what was going on around me. I sat still without any expression on my face.

The Darshan music started and all heads turned to see Swami coming out of the Trayee Brindavan. Swami with His inimitable charisma walked among the devotees spreading His Divine Love. That day my focus was only on Swami and not on anything else. I did not care to see who spoke to Swami or what the people around me were whispering. My eyes were steadily looking at Him however far He went in the Darshan hall. I saw Him go all the way behind to the last row facing the morning sun and then He walked on the gents’ side. He stopped occasionally to pick up a letter and gently swayed to the Darshan music that filled the air.

As Swami came towards the first block on the students’ side where I sat, He paused for a few moments as if He was searching for someone on purpose. I did not get to sit in the first row that morning and was somewhere in the middle of the block. But that did not bother me. I seemed to be contented where ever I was. I had a letter in my hand to give to Swami. Usually, when we have a letter, our mind would race to ensure we somehow get Swami’s attention to hand over the letter. I am no exception to that too.

That day, with no thoughts running through my zipping mind, I just held the letter as if it was an extension of my hand. Swami looked at me, and at that very moment, I spoke to Him with my eyes. I did not have anything to ask Him. I did not have any petitions to put across or any desire to express. I just wanted to enjoy Him, plain and simple. I thanked Him and said that I love Him. It was an intent look I can never forget. When I close my eyes today, I can still recall those piercing but loving eyes that keep looking at me and through me as if I was transparent. He gently smiled after giving that look and stretched His hand to take the letter. I kneeled down without taking my eyes off His beautiful glow and delivered the letter. He gave a gentle tug as He took the letter from my hand and then blinked His eyes.

I sat down with my eyes still looking at Him. I was in bliss. I truly locked my eyes with Swami. After that, Swami walked back to the Trayee Brindavan. The moment the Darshan music stopped, it was an indication for us that Swami had gone back into the Trayee. When I opened my eyes, my mind was back on its superhighway, zipping through what was happening around me. This particular Darshan has been very special for the bliss I got to enjoy for those moments. I was ‘at the moment’ in the true sense of the phrase.

A few days later, one of the photographers gave me a photo of that particular moment when Swami took the letter from my hand. Every time I see that photo, I am instantly reminded of that beautiful day.

II Samastha Lokah Sukhino Bhavantu II